A guy who looks like Yuusuke (Yuu Yuu Hakusho) and a “slave” who looks like SailorMoon (Bishoujo Senshi SailorMoon) plus peeing fetishes and disgusting hygiene habits… Would that be enough to destroy a perfectly romantic evening?

After thoroughly enjoying Buttobi CPU, imagine my great disappointment when it came time for the next VHS tape to be plopped into the player. Mail Order Maiden has exactly the same theme as Buttobi CPU: mechanical dolls created for man’s sensual pleasure. The difference lies in the masters of these computerized wonders, though. While Buttobi CPU has such an adorable innocent as its protagonist, Mail Order Maiden boasts only of a total prick as its central character. First off, he seems to be a rounin whose sexual repression leads him to associate everything with sex. Second, whatever brains and sensitivity he has must have been ensconced inside his petite sacs because he never does anything right. If that is not bad enough, well then you just have to look at his stick — err dick. What’s the difference anyway? Whatever it is that he has, he surely wouldn’t perform any better than a pinky finger would.

Hentai people would probably love the fact that events go pretty fast. So fast that the first scene is already about humping on the beach. There are various symbolisms involved, like for instance a warship’s laser cannons representing the guy’s sexual prowess. The ecchi aspect becomes stale, however, when you realize that the creators are using the same boring frames and scenes. Perhaps they thought that the doll’s submissiveness should be stimulating enough. But gawd! If this is the subject of someone’s wet dreams, then I pity this person.

If Mail Order Maiden was attempting to be comical, I’m very sorry. I found nothing amusing at watching a total loser step onto the next level of loserdom every time he is shown. The only time I remembered laughing my insides out is when the maiden discovered the joy of the birds and the bees. Like I said, with his current “equipment” it’s already apparent how he’ll fare in the bedroom.

Individual Rating: Art/Animation: 7 Story/Plot: 5 Characters: 5 Sounds: 5 Ecchi Level: 6

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 18th, 2001 at 6:41 pm and is filed under Mail Order Maiden, Anime Hentai. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.