Title: Battle Team Lakers
Genre: Shoujo / Action / Comedy
Credits: 1998 Apple Pie, Kamikaze, Beam Entertainment Co. Ltd.
Shop: Best of Kitty DVD, Hentai Item Shop

Cover Description:
Long Ago, the peaceful planet of Blade Star was destroyed by the evil Imperial Empire of Godram. Although most of the inhabitants were massacred, some of the Bladdians escaped with their secret energy source, the ‘Super-Laker Crystals.’

Today, the Bladdians descendants live among us. When trouble arises they transform into their Laker Battle Suits and become…Star Laker: A lovely pop star, Kung Fu Laker: An angry loner, Judo Laker: A tough chesty tomboy, Soul Laker: A spiritualist beauty, Bunny Laker: She dresses like a large bunny.

Led by Blade Knight, who commands the ‘Ultra-Space-Time Battleship,’ these defenders become Battle Team Lakers to defend the Earth from evil forces. But an evil menace has reared it’s ugly head into the Laker’s lives.

Oleana, the evil Godram Commander/Domantrix, creates a plan to destroy the Lakers by stealing their ‘Super-Laker Crystals’ which are located in a very sensitive spot. Knowing all the Lakers crave the attention of Blade Knight, she created an illusion that gratifies their sexual fantasies for him. Before Blade Knight can deny anything, the girls are up in arms. With Oleana timing her monster attack during their ‘guy trouble;’ the Lakers have a true battle on their hands.

The thought that I have to watch Battle Team Lakers EX again for better plot comprehension just scares the devil out of me. I still have to go through over 50 more hentai anime (not to mention games), so it’s just too bad that my mind drifted off somewhere else while I was seeing BTL. I simply do not have the time to repeat the uneventful experience.

Perhaps the plot was just too simple, and what makes it too difficult to analyze is that it’s not the type of anime that you would dissect in an effort to find deeper meaning. In other words, it’s a no-brainer of the worst kind. Reading the cover synopsis above? Well, you’d better, because that cover synopsis tells more than the actual anime! Bah! Why do I even bother? I can just say I slept through most of it, which is true. Perhaps it was because I was tired and dizzy from work. Nah! That most plausible explanation for my disinterest stems from the fact that there weren’t even “decent” ecchi scenes to make up for the lack of story and the so-so artwork. The only thing that had kept me half-awake was the observation that the school uniforms were obviously copied from Fushigi Yuugi. That’s it. Nothing else out of the ordinary.

Oh, but it wasn’t half as bad as Co-Ed Affairs, so I guess there’s still hope.

Individual Rating: Art/Animation: 8 Story/Plot: 5 Characters: 5 Sounds: 5 Ecchi Level: 6

Title: Beast City
Genre: Horror
Credits: 1997 Naomi Hayakawa / Comstock Ltd. / Anime 18
Shop: Beast City DVD, Hentai Item Shop

Cover Description:
In the violent city of Tokyo, Man and Beast battle for survival as the Demonic Beasts strive to seduce and enslave every woman that crosses their paths. Born into a family of vampires, 19 year-old Mina has vowed to hunt down and destroy all of the sex starved Beasts. Together with her friends and her beast-Hunter Sword, Mina must track down a human-formed Beast that has infiltrated her college.

Judging from the name of the writer, I’m guessing this one is written by a female, assisted by a good dose of male hormones. The basic concept of Beast City, she-vampires preying on the male member once in a while, feels feminine to me. Women here grab the sexual sword and wave it around the way most male hentai characters do.

The concept itself is fresh. It’s very rare that we encounter vampire hentai. In fact, this is the first of its kind that I’ve seen. It’s a shame because vampires are the most erotic mythical creatures imaginable. They don’t have inhibitions and most stories say that they’re not really particular with gender differences. My kind of thing.

Beast City’s characters are so silly, I can guarantee that you won’t forget them. You either find their antics highly entertaining or you hate them to an unmeasurable degree. Three central figures are in the spotlight, headed by the powerful Vampire Mina. Her two sidekicks seem to play dumb, are actually dumb, or just simply awestruck by Mina’s abilities. Enter Tetsuo and Megumi, two ordinary human beings with extraordinary destinies. It’s all one big happy family! By the way, that unrequited love Megumi has for Tetsuo? Unmistakably angst fanfic material. And still very female.

I have no complaints in the art and animation department. I’ve seen the first episode in 2001 and it looks just as good as when I saw the rest of it in 2003. The whole plot leaves a lot to be desired, however. Tetsuo reminds me a lot of Urotsukidoji’s Nagumo or that little brat in Twin Dolls. What all three uglies have in common is that the fiends in their respective series are always looking for them. They’re supposedly fated to rule some sexually depraved kingdoms. The tentacles and the overall theme—the blood, the gore, the somewhat disgusting h-scenes—carry the Urotsukidoji scent. So much for originality.

I have an idea! Why don’t we just rename this vehicle to “Urotsukidoji: The Untold Female Perspective.”

Individual Rating: Art/Animation: 8 Story/Plot: 7 Characters: 7 Sounds: 7 Ecchi Level: 6

Title: Beat Angel Escalayer
Genre: Drama/Fantasy
Credits: 2002 Alice Soft / Pink Pineapple
Shop: Beat Angel Escalayer DVD, Toys and Accessories, Hentai Item Shop

Larghaz’s Description:
When the forces of Dailust are on the move, it is up to Sayuka Koenji’s alter ego Escalayer to protect man kind. But she isn’t alone in this fight. Madoka, her robotic “sister” who also acts as her maintenance supervisor, and Kyouhei Yanase are there to help her. Escalayer isn’t just your usual Sailor Moon type super heroine; she’s a cyborg. Inside her is the battery-like Doki Doki Dynamo that enables her to become Escalayer. The Dynamo needs to be recharged time and again, and to do that Sayuka must get sexually aroused. This is why they have Kyouhei.

Prepare yourself evil, for Sayka Koenji’s heart beats stronger and stronger to become the world’s protector: Escalayer.

When an H-anime has its own animated opening sequence it can only mean one of two things: either production is high quality or production is high quality but is still garbage. Fortunately for Beat Angel Escalayer, the latter is not the case.

Based on an H-game with the same title. The story revolves around beautiful bespectacled Sayuka Koenji who is a normal school girl. Until the forces of Dailust attack. She then does a Sailor Moon-esque transformation sequence to change into the pink-haired battle maiden Escalayer. What keeps her apart from other beat the enemy type female hero? Her Doki Doki Dynamo, the source of Escalayer’s power. Sayuka’s “sister”, in a manufacturing sense, says the Doki Doki Dynamo has to be charged up to work. This is where Kyouhei Yanase comes in. He’s Sayuka’s childhood friend and neighbor. He’s tasked to make Sayuka “Doki Doki” so that she’ll be ready to fight evil. But as the story progresses Dailust reveals their trump card.

The art of Beat Angel Escalayer is just spectacular. The women look fabulous. The backgrounds look like they’re taken from non-hentai anime. The animation is also top-of-the-line and truly adds to the overall “umph” that this show delivers.

In terms of sex scenes, Beat Angel Escalayer almost has something for everybody. It has love making, normal rape, tentacle rape, battle rape, hermaphrodites, close-to-lolitas and menage a trois. Most of the scenes have something to do with the story as the make Sayuka feel “Doki Doki” (excited). The genetalia are properly censored so they only cover the organs themselves. But that does not mean that the scenes are any less better, they still retain their intimacy and gravity.

Beat Angel Escalayer has an interesting story based from the original game, incredible art and animation and a well rounded variety of sex scenes that are incorporated into the plot which of course means fun for everyone.

Individual Rating: Art/Animation: 5 Story/Plot: 7 Characters: 9 Sounds: 10 Ecchi Level: 9

Title: Behind Closed Doors
Genre: Drama
Credits: Anime 18
Shop: Behind Closed Doors DVD, Hentai Item Shop

Cover Description:
When the Master’s Away, The Sex Kittens Play!

Somewhere, there is a forbidden mansion, a house of unspeakable erotic pleasures. Behind each door, a beautiful woman lies in wait for a man’s touch. But these voluptuous vixens have an appetite for pain and punishment that compels even the strongest to beg for mercy! What man can withstand the unbearable pleasure, and rule the harem as his own?

Behind Closed doors starts off innocently enough. Young couple Yoshino and Kenichi lived in their small apartment, going about life, mending clothes, having sex and sorting through the mail which is where the real story begins. They both seem content in their life – happy, normal and quite the sex life. While enjoying post coital bliss, Yoshino mentions that they received a package in the mail. It turns out that they’d won some contest and inside the box is the standard congratulations letter and G.P.S. car navigational equipment. So they hook it up and started following the directions from the blinking screen, and end up at a large castle-like mansion far out in the country.

They knock on the door, are greeted by the maid, and welcomed into the house. The master of the manor is out so they are invited to stay the night. They had to wait for him to arrive so they could discuss their prize. This is where all the fun begins for these two.

They “break in” their new room and the next morning they’re served breakfast. After that, they go exploring through the mansion’s many rooms. In the library, Yoshino finds some sort of S&M training book and gets a bit of a blush on her face after scoping out the pictures. Perhaps she’s got an adventurous side to her.

As far as the hentai scenes go, there are many. Behind closed doors has something for everyone within it: maids, gymnasts, the mature older woman, nurses, innocent virgins, young girls, lactation, bondage S&M, family togetherness, and possible impregnation.

Our lone male protagonist starts off normal enough, but after each surprise around the corner, he becomes more and more the sadist. At one point he and Yoshino are separated and in his quest to find her, he becomes more and more distracted by the lovely ladies behind the closed doors. He ends up jumping in the sac with them, sharing a drink, and whapping them with a baseball bat.

The animation is some of the best I’ve seen out of everything Anime 18 has released, especially for a fairly old title (2001). Colors are rich and vibrant and the character designs are attractive: well detailed below the waist and are unique to each girl or guy, except the gaggle of men in matching tuxedos. Something I think that’s worth mentioning is that during certain points in the show, we are “treated” to these close up X-ray vision shots of Kenichi’s crotch when he becomes aroused by something or someone. I just found these particularly icky — and they keep popping up in my face.

It’s a rarity for me to enjoy anything from Anime 18. It’s too good to be coming from them but surprisingly, it is. This show is one of my favorites. I especially like to pop it in my DVD player just after watching a terrible show to make me feel better. If you like any of the things I listed above, you will love Behind Closed Doors, so go buy it. Now. I mean it stop reading and go.

Individual Rating: Art/Animation: 7 Story/Plot: 8 Characters: 9 Sounds: 7 Ecchi Level: 10

Title: Bible Black
Genre: Horror
Credits: Kitty Media
Shop: Bible Black DVD and Erotic Toys, Hentai Item Shop

Cover Description:
At a harmless looking College, the teachers and staff are practicing a dark religion. By devoting their bodies to perversity, they chant their dark spells and control the lusts of the student body.
Everywhere the students turn, they are drawn to acts of perversion, even in public. Perhaps the school nurse has the answer, as she holds special counseling sessions for the female students.

Bible Black tells a story of a student that suddenly finds himself with a very special magic book. Using the hidden powers contained in the pages, he catches the attention of some very sexual and dark forces…

After popping the disc in, I was kinda let down by how shiny everything looks. The computer coloring took some minutes to grow on me. But after the first sex scene started, I was already all into this ride.

I’m a big fan of dickgirls, I must say, and right in the first sex scene we have one well-endowed nurse penetrating a poor female student. The sex here is great, but very hardcore, so much so that some may be turned off by it. There’s rape, torture, the previously mentioned dickgirl, and even a guy getting fingered. The genitalia are very detailed (this is probably the most detailed hentai I’ve seen - the vaginas are beautiful to look at), and the animation is excellent (computer work seems to be saving the animation quality in hentai).

Character design is great (very similar to the original Bible Black game), even with the extra-shiny colors, and the Japanese dubbing is good. One added plus is the laugh-out-loud funny English dub. The dialogue in English goes from overly-acted (the dickgirl has some really funny lines when having sex) to extremely boring. Of special note is the “my butt, my butt is filled with all your dick” line, which made me crack up so loud it scared the cat.

Overall, an excellent hentai, as long as you’re ok with computer coloring, dickgirls and the fact there’s more to come…

Individual Rating: Art/Animation: 8 Story/Plot: 7 Characters: 7 Sounds: 9 Ecchi Level: 10